Life and The Ignorance

Listen to : Tsukiko Amano -- Crimson Butterfly

She just wondering if ever she died, will she be remembered? Did people will acknowledge her? She said to herself....maybe.

Questions

Why some people can hurt other people? Why some people can make other people wait? Waiting with the ignorance without calling, or saying hi... yet it was promised before? The questions remains unanswered until the time comes....

Why sometimes people can easily saying the 'L' words? Does it supposed to be a magic word?

And why people can easily fall for each other? Is that true that there is a love at a first sight or I dunno...

Why marriage can divorce? Are they unhappy? Who's the cause?

Why lover's can turn to friends? Can it be fixed?

But all the answers depends to all the causes....and there are too many causes with different answers...

Love and being loved is a terrific feeling, but when you love someone too much, it can cause grievous pain, which only you can cure it.

Miss and being missed.....it's a real pain....

"Is there any space for happiness? Can she be in it? Please...just for a while...

Most people are stronger than they know. They just forget to believe in it sometimes."

Life and The Hard Lights....

Listen to : Umbrellas -- The City Lights

If you see me at midnight

Walking the streets

You'll know it was me for I cannot sleep

I've pushed away the dreams

And spoiled the quiet

I'm propelled by fear

And not the righteous

So have you been to a place like this?

To see your breath as it paints against the sky

The fever is near

I wish you were here

I'm thinking ambitious

I've got this feeling things will be alright

So go break a leg night

Been given the green light

So go entertain them

They're waiting for you

They're waiting for you

Halo...Halo...Special...

Whenever I did look back at it I used to think that way, however, yesterday I got to change my mind for all 360°; there is still something that I can say I miss.

I feel like one of those days which i really feel so thankful for all that i’ve been given. Love can do so many things i’ve finally realized. And i’m truly blessed i’ve got someone who’s become the light that guided me out of that dark tunnel i once put myself into, someone who continues to be the bright light to my path…Is the love still in the air?

p/s....wish you were here...

Life and The Melancholic Night

Listen to : Makin Aku Cinta -- Kris Dayanti and Anang

Do you know what is the most daunting feeling in this world? The feeling of being sorry, being sorry for yourself. Nothin’ compares to it.

For the past few days I have been thinking about lot of things, too much, actually. Ever had a feeling that you want to talk about something, with someone, but deep inside know that there is no point to it, simply, because only one who can help you is — thyself. It helps to talk with someone, but it doesn't solve the problems you have, in most cases at least.
I have discovered that I don't have what it takes for me to put my thoughts on the paper, so other people could understand me, in any form. It could be nice, but pointless I guess. And no, I haven't failed, I have just discovered things that don't work. However, there are some people who, actually, can do it.

I'm counting days to go to Manila. 6 days to go. I'm leaving on January 3rd.

Just finished record the theme song for " Now And Forever". Title -- Cintaiku Sekali Lagi.

The lyrics was good, and the song was great composed by our Executive Producer....I'm so excited.

I have a wish list.. I wanted to get myself a nice tote from Prada, but still I'm under waiting lists....I wanted it badly....Help!!!! hehehe.. I'm definitely a big spender...shopaholics....and I do shop a lot.....hehehehe.

Life and The Uncertain

The Uncertain.....

It's so unfair when he wrote that, it's just added more wounds...and she hurts even badly.

How can he said that?

Does he know that he's the one who start all this? Does he realizes how suffer she was?

Does he even think about all the sacrifices that she did for him? If ever he know how she felt...

Still, she was thankful, for all these years there was love around, how he's taking care of her and pampered her. Those years won't easily being forgotten. And she blaming herself for not taking care of it. She said..." sorry " and crying.....

It's find to blame other's as she knew how far is the truth.

She was hurt...not just hurt...she's bleeding, but no one cares.

His quotes

To My Queen,

My hopes keep losing everyday..As you walk with other.

As she did walk with him 5 years ago, and it faded away, let her be happy....just once...let her find herself...give her space....Please.....

To My Queen,

You can lie anything you want,But you know i knew you.

She's good in manipulating. Yes...you said you knew her, but you won't know what's is in her mind...for real...people can't read mind....

To My Queen,

You said i never knew you,

Which part that i don't?

Every part, you don't know her as you rather hurt her than seeking for an effort to makes her happy, yes you did entertain her, you always be there for her, does it enough? Please answer....

To My Queen,

Did you know that i'm losing myself

At night alone?

Did you realize that she losing herself a long time ago....and she never did find her self yet...till now...she long gone....she's all fake....she's no longer the One that you knew...

After all....she wants to apologize for hurting people...If other's know how she's being hurt, badly..... She felt sorry for everyone...even more for herself....Feels like killing herself....

" Sorry " .....

Life and The Beneficial of Life...

Listen to : All Good Things (Come To An End) -- Nelly Furtado Feat Chris Martin

Dogs were whistling a new tune

Barking at the new moon

Hoping it would come soon

so that they could die

Honestly what will become of me

I don't like reality

It's way too clear to me

But really life is daily

We are what we don't see

We miss everything daydreaming

Flames to dust

Lovers to friends

Why do all good things come to an end

Traveling I always stop at exits

Wondering if I'll stay

Young and restless

Living this way I stress less

I want to pull away when the dream dies

The pain sets it and I don't cry

I only feel gravity and I wonder why

And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day until the feeling went away

And the clouds were dropping and the ................. the rain forgot how to bring salvation

The dogs were whistling a new tune

barking at the new moon

hoping it would come soon

so that they could die

Questions

Why all good things always come to an end?

Question remains without an answer...but yet they must always good things ahead..

Where do I finish?

It depends where I start.

Today

I'm counting days before I leave for the PHP...It's quiet exciting but I will be there longer this time. For 2 and a half month included the shooting days and also post productions.

I'm going again to the happy nations city....I'm happy, I'm excited, Im sad, I'm overwhelming, and I feel that all my emotions mixed up....wait for me to return, wait for me for those who willing to wait. And wait for me if ever you need me....

I'm happy with the project progress. We're still on our track, can't wait to see the end product. It supposed to be distinguished with all the hard work from all of them.

Yesterday

We had fun, Dory celebrated her Christmas with us. We're in Malacca, with everybody elses including Melvin and Abang Lan ( Congrats to Mat Dom Teksi -- Best Comedy in Anugerah Skrin , Janet Khoo winning the Best Comedian Actress For Asian TV Awards...Applause!!! ).

Lyn was enganged with Sab...Congratulations!!!

The Uncertain

I tried to figured out, what am I trying to do? Who am I hurting? I am sorry, as I am totally weak...I am sorry. I don't mean to hurt anybody, it just my heart, that never heal...it's so painful until I don't know what to do. I'm numb....I only can wait....wait for the right time to come...

I'm sorry...yet the love is all yours....

Life and The Green Props

Coquet - The Ingenuous Da Dory

Melancholic - The Beneficial Black

Vulnerable - The Gracious Anis

Euophoric : The Uncertain GG

Seductive : The Protagonist Lyn and Anis

The Moment Bliss of Joy

Life And The Loneliness

Listen To : All Good Things Come To An End -- Nelly Furtado Featuring Chris Martin

Those day long gone... I'm hoping for something that will never going to happen. Only I'm the one who imagining it myself. Make myself being torn apart, knowing that all the sweet dreams will never exist.

Obviously everything considered as empty hope, with no ending, makes you happy for a while, then slowly vanished, ended up you lost your wings and fall. That's me...

I'm sorry.. I wanted to learn to love someone and being loved by someone, but in fact, I'm not capable to do that.

I'm playing with my own weaknesses and shadows. I'm creating my own stories, I'm picturing a good life but yet I'm all by myself.....If ever you care and if ever you know how I feel. How weak I am to face this alone. Still I'm okay, and will always be fine. Just don't worry about me, I'm strong enough to cure myself, but I'm just tired of waiting..Love is all yours.....Smile :) . Period.

Merry Christmas To Everyone......

Space Dementia : Muse

Height is the one for me

It gives me all I need

And helps me co-exist with the chill

You make me sick because I adore you so

I love all the dirty tricks

And twisted games you play on me

Space dementia in your eyes

Peace will arise and tear us apart

And make us meaningless again

You'll make us want to die

I'd cut your name in my heart

We'll destroy this world for you

I know you want me to feel your pain

Space dementia in your eyes

Peace will arise and tear us apart

And make us meaningless again

Life and The Reality

Listen to : Tori Amos -- Love Song

Have you ever think about doing something that you feel is right yet its wrong? And how about if it just to entertain your so called boring life.
Sometimes life is worth waiting…..waiting for something that is not going to happen.
I’m alone again…by myself. Fighting with my crucial negative thought.
Yet there are memories that counts. Its not long ago…still fresh…I will remember it. I won’t forget. We connected, but I need to distance myself, to take control of the self from falling , from flying high and get hurt. I was hurt, I am hurt…yet still hurting till now. I want to breathe the fresh air. It only takes a second, and there it goes. it’s none…I like the feeling when we’re together. I’m not sure…it’s just all about all the empty promises. Yet I need to be born again.
I am hurt. I am sad. All by myself…

It’s all in my head…I don’t want to forget neither being forgotten, its my nature to treasure all the sweet remembrance although it is not significant.
I hurt them, giving hope, yet they hurt me too. I’m tired of waiting, tired to take heed for all the empty promises. Until when? I am not a saint. I can’t last forever.
Day that counts so priceless. If only I can treasure it with sincerity. I can’t devote myself to them entirely. I’m afraid being hurt again.
Still the day will still be fresh until the day comes. I don’t know until when, just let it go. Although it hurt sometimes. So close but yet so far. But still it makes me happy and smile all day long…..This feeling where you cannot get it everyday. It’s just so special…..and I can’t describe it with words. Smile . Period.

"Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty, this hatred, how did it find us? Did it steal into our lives or did we seek it out and embrace it? When did we lose our way? Consumed by the shadows. Swallowed whole by the darkness. Does this darkness have a name?"

Now And Forever

Project Title : Muli/ Now And Forever
Episodes : 26 Episodes/ 1 hour Show
Cast : Tony Eusoff, Carrie Lee, Alfred Vargas, Daniel Tan, Azizah Mahzan, Shukery Hashim and many more

It’s a count down…Another 7 days to go for our taping days in Malaysia. And another 20 days to go in Manila.
It’s fun although there are too many obstacle yet to be faced. It’s okay. The working culture might not satisfied both parties at first but we manage to handle that. We come out with one mission as we need to get this done with good quality. As they always said… blood + sweat + tears = laughter and joy.
The experienced was good. There are dramas inside the making of the drama. Meeting new people, making new friends. Argument, Loves, Laughter, Joy, Crazy, Angry. The feeling was good. We don’t hate each other. This is just kinda new experience for both country, yet a good learning process as well.
It's tiring, I dont even have time for myself, went to Pangkor and Ipoh for 3 weeks...and straight shoot in KL after that. It's okay. I'm not complaining, yet I am satisfied. A big applause to all the " Now And Forever " team... They are the one who makes all the things worked, and to our co partners from the Philippines, Direk Mac, Cheryl and also the rest of the team..... Thank You.