Life and Goodbye.....

Listen to : Silent Hill -- Tears of Pain


People come and go. Living things sooner will end up dead. Practically its all chain, and what’s matter the most is patient and passion. How to live life the fullest ? How to deal with different circumstances? How to make a deal? How to be close to people? What is the best remedy for being a melancholic? How to stay out from misery ? Why you need to be so secretive and phlegmatic? The question all started with How, When, Why and What…….

Bon Voyage…. My sister favorite… She cried, bury it at the lawn, with marks, pieces of glasses. Bon will be missed. Known as a good one, cheering life, bring out laughter , entertain the isolate heart. Yet I’m just seeing it, she’s the one who felt it. I saw, I feel, I know…..but the real pain is for the one who felt the lose, someone who really close…..It’s only a furry creature yet communicate well with her. Bon’s the best buddy, ‘non’ replaceable. She don’t want to have favorite’s anymore…just care from far, give some love, yet will never owned one………

As for me, my 2 kitten died yesterday. One left…hope will survive. It’s tiny, yet fragile.

My work… pressured me sometimes. Makes me matured enough to make a decision. I’m currently happy with my work. Happy with the work environment, it’s tough, challenging, qualified enough to make you sometimes wants to jump out from the top of the building, of course once you’ve been pressured by the superiors. Yet, this job is all win and win situation.. Blood + Sweat + Tears = Laughter + Happiness. Once you get the result, than you will feel the satisfaction. That’s what I need. Money is important too. Satisfaction is not enough, it must be fair Money + Satisfaction = Felicity.
Overall….I’m 25 years old now….and I’m happy with what I’m doing right now, it makes me forget that I have other things to worry about. People complain, I do complain sometimes, but still it doesn’t stop me to like my job even more. I don’t know how long I will do this. Maybe another 10 to 15 years, maybe forever. I don’t know…Let the faith decide for me…..

My life : Chapter 1
I’m happy…it’s fasting month…I love the feel when the time comes “ Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar”. It’s Maghrib. The time to break fast. The feel is good when you start drinking the cold water, and there’s a lot of food in front of you. Wow….it’s heaven. But….what makes me so sad was, all the hawker’s in ‘Pasar Ramadhan’ took advantage on other people. Selling thing with inappropriate price….very expensive, and the quality of the food is nothing compared to the high price. It just frustrating.
However, it’s really good when you break the fast with your friend…the funny part was….we always ate in the office. It’s fun tough….hehehehe


My other life : Chapter 2
My life…I’ve surrounded with love, people that love me, people that I love, but still undeniable that there is a hatred environment around. I’m not a saint, I never declare myself as a good girl or a ‘saint’ . I’m only a typical girl yet a bit different from other’s ‘thinking’ phenomenal. I hate some people. It’s fair as people hates me too…hehehe. People will always hate other people. Envy of other’s.
Sometimes I feel closely connected to them, sometimes I’m not. I have my own eccentric inside myself that I need to change, it just a matter of I want to change it or not, neither one. I make people sad sometimes, I make people cry, I make people hates me. But do they care about me? Do they know how I feel? Do they know that I felt sorry for myself everyday? I have my own thoughts that I can’t share it with anyone, just describe the feeling : pain, sad, hypocrisy, hopeless, hard. Nobody cares, nobody knows, yet if they know, they can’t feel it, they just knew and can’t do anything…..and I’m buried, just clearly see the hands asking for help and forgiveness.